This is a re-post from my former blog from 2021. The topic is still relevant and I thought you may enjoy the intention behind the message.
As we move into times of family, friends, gatherings, and togetherness, it is important to remember that we are adapting to new ways of socializing post-pandemic. I work with clients who suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. I read reports of increased anxiety related to a return to socializing. Offices are slowly returning to work and we are working through the new ways of coming together.
Some are deciding that they don’t want to come together and making new value shifts in how they hold an occupation. Workplace dynamics, quality of work are creating shifts in our culture with a line in the sand on what is tolerable for individual workers. What is desired for the human experience is being defined and questioned. This is a brilliant outcome of close to two years of being in and out of lock-down.
Getting closer to our intentional values in our lives means that we are prioritizing our values and dreams over soul-eroding ways of interacting in our day-to-day lives. I find this time of the Great Resignation to be a a foil to the sort of resignation of taking on stressors. It’s quite exciting, right?
With so many great shifts happening in our world, it can be easy to feel anxiety and overwhelm about what we need right now. Knowing what we do want is different than knowing what we won’t take anymore.
How do we not sweat the small stuff?
Anxiety and overwhelm are internalized stressors from the outside. Being able to detach or disassociate or create boundaries around small stressors can really save us during a time when we are thinking about how we will redesign our careers. Allow me to put on my coaching hat and share some examples to help you practice this wonderful skill of self-care. Check out these scenarios below and take a moment to embody the emotions that can be triggered when we are unprepared for these events.
For example — when we have holidays closing in on us, it means we will spend more time with aunties and cousins, sisters and brothers — folks who we may need to explain ourselves to. If this brings on a stress for you, take a moment to acknowledge and prep yourself for these kinds of social interactions. Most likely, they are just making conversation — they don’t know their questions are triggering a reaction of vulnerability.
Another scenario — our children are excited to be out school. They can finally unwind and be at home with the quirks and repetitive vocalizations that they enjoy sharing with the family pet. The cooing, the silly songs… they have energy to release and love doing this in the safety of the home environment. If you know this may set you off.. take a moment in the morning to anticipate this kind of social interaction with your beloved child. This can later diffuse an uncomfortable situation (like snapping at your child and causing hurt feelings) — into a sweet appreciation for your creative kid.
A final scenario — you are prepping the assigned dishes that your mother-in-law requested, she makes a comment about how you are sifting the flour. If you know that cooking with her is always difficult, take some time before the event to settle into this moment and visualize the stress she may be feeling about putting on this dinner and hosting the family who she loves but they sometimes get on her nerves. Maybe you can relate to her and just allow the comments to wash over you like motherly love can do. You may actually feel uplifted and enjoy your place in the family — you don’t have to be the queen bee quite yet! After all, it can be stressful being the matriarch.
Detaching and disassociating, meaning that you remove your emotions from the experience and become a bit of “watcher” of what is happening, can offer the simple space that you need to take care of yourself. The holidays are known triggers for so many folks. Extending a little boundary to nip any grievances in the bud (before they begin) can help us to enjoy and spread positivity to our families, our communities, and the planet.
Don’t we all need more positivity? Take a little time to cultivate it as you become intentional about your holiday plans. Intentionally create the space and time for you to thrive during this special time of lights and magic. In the domestic sense, it is a bit of show! Understand that there is a lot of energy poured into this by all involved.
With some empathy, we can release magnanimous feminine energy into the world (no matter our gender) and offer a little tender loving care to ourselves as we create boundaries around how we allow others to impact our senses and feelings. In yoga this is known as satya (सत्य), defined as “right thinking”, “truthfulness”, or “essence”. Satya offers us an objectivity that we can use to bring intention to this time of activity with added stressors that can be transmuted into empathy and joy.
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About the author.
Angela Rosoff is an Ayurvedic Digestive Health Coach, 500RYT, & Certified Face Yoga Method Teacher based in San Francisco, CA.
She teaches virtual yoga class and teaches clients 1:1 how to live the life they imagine by tuning into their self-healing power and unlocking their identity to age gracefully with holistic practices of mindset, nutrition, and yoga for face & body. You can find her offerings and sign up for Angela’s free weekly wellness newsletter at her website, www.yoginiprana.live.